What about Marvel Zombies?

Do you know what Marvel comic I really enjoyed? What if? It was fun to see how stories may have gone differently if something had gone in another direction. “What if Charles Xavier had become the Juggernaught?” “What if Spiderman joined the Fantastic Four?” What if Daredevil had killed the Kingpin?”

The list goes on and on, and the stories are fun to read even though they don’t take themselves too seriously. That is probably the best part about the comic book.

So what does this have to do with Marvel Zombies? It is two different miniseries that consider a question-“What if the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe became zombies?”

I love the concept, but I don’t care for the execution. The writing is sloppy and the storyline doesn’t feel real enough to satisfy me as a comic book reader. Perhaps it is the fact that the story moves with the speed of a What If? story, but drawn over many issues. Maybe it is the fact that even with so many panels, the story still feels incomplete.

There are two volumes to look at. In the first volume we see how the zombies handle a shrinking population, and trying to eat Magneto. The story ends with them eating Galactus and travelling all over the universe eating their fill.

The second volume picks up 20 years later when the zombies return to earth after eating every sentient creature in the universe. They are excited to find a handful of humans still on earth and make plans to breed them for future eating.

Here’s where things getting silly for me. These few zombies have eaten the entire universe, which in the Marvel universe is largely populated. Why didn’t they think about this plan when they still had other planets to eat? More importantly for me, why are they adding zombies to their ranks?  Firelord shouldn’t exist at all since Galactus created him after Silver Surfer went rogue. Thanos might be able to stand up to galactic power, but then to have his head crushed by Hulk like it’s no big deal? How does that make sense?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->·         <!--[endif]-->Why was there a moment where I couldn’t tell the difference between Luke Cage and Black Panther?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->·         <!--[endif]-->How is it possible for Cortez to pull some pieces from Teed Richard’s device and Forge can’t figure out the problem?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->·         <!--[endif]-->Do any of the Acolytes’ children even have mutant powers? If so what are they?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->·         <!--[endif]-->Not eating is the solution to the Zombie problem?

<!--[if !supportLists]-->·         <!--[endif]-->What is the impact besides Spidey whining and the universe getting eaten?

Those are just a few of the confusing features of the story for me. Even with these questions, it is still an interesting read, and well worth your time. Check it out. 

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, a book review

Revisionism has always been a part of history. Take the Civil War as an example. Was the war about freeing slaves, state rights, or any of the hundreds of other reasons? That's how history works. The story is always changing to reflect the Now. That is what we have such stories as Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

This book is brought to us by the same creative mind that brought Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to the world. In this book, the text of Pride and Prejudice is injected with scenes involving Zombies. I haven't read that one, but one of my English professors wrote the introduction to the second edition (now with 30% more zombies.)

The concepts are smart and thought provoking. What would history look like if Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter? What if the Civil War was really about stopping vampires from using slave populations to fulfill their blood lust?

So how does the book do in telling its story? I found it lacking in a lot of ways.

First, there is definitely not enough vampire hunting for my tastes. Lincoln only hunts vampires as a young man. It does make sense since he can't have that kind of strength and resilience as a child or older man, but I'm not really interested in seeing an older vampire hunter try to be President. I want to see Honest Abe rolling up his sleeves and fighting.

Second, the book takes itself far too seriously. Am I really going to believe that Lincoln fought vampires? Not with the way this is written. When I first heard about the idea, I was excited about the combination of actual written work by Lincoln and fictional passages. There is so much potential there. Unfortunately those passages tend to be a way out of actually writing. Also, there are fictional writings that make it hard to take any of it seriously.

Third, is the ending. I don't want to give anything away, but I did not feel satisfied with the ending. It was a cop out and took away from the rest of the story. I wish I could tell you exactly what I don't like about the ending, but I do want you to read the book even if it isn't as great as it could be.

There are things that I did enjoy, but they tended to be isolated segments. Here are some of them:

• Lincoln seeing the impact of slavery on the slaves as 10 auctioned slaves are sold to vampires to feast upon.
• Lincoln mistakes Edgar Allen Poe for a vampire.
• Lincoln actually fighting vampires.

"Stuart Little" by E. B. White (a book review)

Before you start to wonder, this is a book review, and no I haven't seen any of the movies based on the book. There is no way that the book I just finished could be transferred to any screen. With that being said, let's talk about E. B. White in general and Stuart Little in specific.

So what do I think about Stuart Little? I think it is a magnificent book. It certainly was not what I was expecting at all. More importantly, not a single one of the things that I expected happened. I should correct that just a little. I didn't get any of the endings I was expecting. Don't worry, I'm not about to give away the ending, but I want you to know that you won't get a simple ending even though this is a "simple" book. With Charlotte's Web, you get a nice neat ending. Everything comes together in the end, not so with Stuart Little.

The way the story starts lets you know right away that this won't be a typical story. After all, how many women give birth to a mouse? For those of you that are familiar with the Tom Thumb style story you have some idea of what to expect. The tiny child (Stuart eventually reaches 2-1/4 inches) grows into a tiny man and goes off into the world to seek his fortune. This is the same style of story.

Every hero needs a reason to leave the safety of home. We get lots of chances to see Stuart in action. He takes up sailing and wandering the city even though he is just a very small creature. His only fear is dogs. He isn't even afraid of the family cat, Snowbell. What really drives Stuart to wandering though is his concern for his best friend, a beautiful bird named Margalo. When she disappears, Stuart decides to go look for her. He doesn't have much to lead him in the right direction. He just has Margalo's explanation of who she is, "I come from fields once tall with wheat, from pastures deep in fern and thistle: I come from vales of meadowsweet, and I love to whistle."

This quote shows just how great a writer E. B. White was. He had an amazing way with words that make this book a pleasure to read. I won't give away the ending, but I will tell you that Stuart has adventures as a sailor, and a teacher. He also learns to drive and encounters a woman his own size. I can't say more without giving away the ending, and I really want you to read this book. 

Go find a copy right now. That's my opinion, of course and your free to have your own. If you want, you can leave any comments below.

"A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens (a book review)

Let's consider the life of Ebenezer Scrooge. Here we have a man who has dedicated his entire life to the system of capitalism, to the improvement of the British economy. You might even call him a captain of industry. Sure he has lots of issues keeping down his overhead by keeping heating costs down and reducing the size of his staff.

Poor Ebenezer also has issues with keeping up with the demands of the holidays. Everyone is looking for him to contribute to their charities in a time that charitable giving wasn't tax deductible. He also has family wanting more of his time than he has available. What's a poor rich man supposed to do?

That's probably the spin that would be put on a Christmas Carol if Charles Dickens had been writing his classic Christmas story today. Instead, we get Scrooge portrayed as a greedy selfish man who is only looking out for number one even at the expense of the poor Cratchet family.

Dickens uses a device that seems unoriginal to us, but was very intriguing to the Victorian-era people of England-a visit by a series of ghosts that spoke from the past, present, and future of Scrooge's life. There job is to teach Scrooge the true meaning of Christmas. You already know how the story goes, but it is worth checking out the way Dickens writes the tales. It is a quick read and depending on the copy you use, it will probably be less than 100 pages.  Check this tale out as a part of your Christmas tradition.

If you liked Holes, will you like Small Steps?

In 1998, Louis Sachar published his popular novel, "Holes." In 2003, the misadventures of Stanley Yelnats IV hit the big screen in a Disney movie starring then rising Disney star, Shia LaBeouf. This made the book even more popular as kids hurried to learn more about the story behind the movie.

At the same time "Holes" was hitting the theaters, Sachar released "Stanley Yelnats' Survival Guide to Camp Green Lake." Then in 2006, Sachar's next Camp Green Lake related book, "Small Steps."

Rather than focusing on Stanley, this story follows the adventures of Theodore "Armpit" Johnson as he tries to get his life back on track. He has started taking some college classes while working at the job he is exceptionally qualified-digging holes. More accurately he is working for a landscaper. Armpit is living at home and has a good friendship with a 10-year-old girl named Ginny who lives next door to him. He also gets dragged into some crazy schemes by his old buddy X-ray.

I don't want to give away too much, but you should know that the title "Small Steps" refers to some advice Armpit received while getting counseling after his time at Camp Green Lake. The counselor tells him that when you walk upstream, you have to take small steps or you'll be swept away in the current.

"Small Steps" is a great book, and it's definitely worth checking out. I should also mention that Sachar has a new book out called "The Cardturner." I just spotted it on his website so I don't know much about it. I do plan to check this book out soon though.

"The Bedwetter-Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee" an autobiography by Sarah Silverman

I thought it might be interesting to do some book reviews as part of this blog as well. What better book to start with than an autobiography called The Bedwetter? This is an autobiography by Sarah Silverman one of the most unusual and most sarcastic celebrities I have seen on the large or small screen.

My first real encounter with Sarah was here comedy special "Jesus is Magic." Before I watched this special, I thought I knew about sarcasm, but I quickly learned how little I actually knew. Throughout the show, I would find myself uncertain if she was joking or serious. I had the same experience with her part on the documentary "The Aristocrats." During her telling of the joke she made comments about being raped and abused, but there was a part of me that wasn't sure it wasn't just part of the joke. Sarah brings that same kind of humor to the story of her life so far.

The first half of the book deals with Sarah's childhood including being a bed wetter up until her high school years. We get to meet her foul-mouth father who encouraged his daughter to swear and seek the laughs that came from those swear words. As the book progresses, we also get glimpses of her high school years, entering the world of stand up comedy, losing her virginity, and her time as a writer for Saturday Night Live. This time has my favorite story when she stabs fellow writer Al Franken in the head with a pencil on a strange whim. The second half of the book looks at her career to the date the book is finish, including working on her own Comedy Central show titled, The Sarah Silverman Program.

Sarah breaks many conventions of the autobiography in this book. She writes her own introduction, and makes a pretty big deal about the process of writing it. She also spends a good bit of time writing about how the book came to exist. She even shares several conversations with her editor about the creation of the book. What really got my attention, though, was the "Advance Praise for the Bedwetter" on the back of the book.

"She's a lady and it's a black shirt." --Alec, age 3.
"I want juice." --Diego, age 2-1/2
"At recess Brody Watkins pulled my hair and I told the teacher and she yelled at him and he cried."--Emily, age 6
"Y tu mama tambien."--Luis, age 4.
"Book."--Bea, age 2

So my opinion is that you should go out and read this book. This opinion is offered, however, with a little bit of condition. I know that Sarah Silverman's style of comedy is not for everyone. She is not afraid to go for the cheap joke by writing a song about poop or speak freely about her sexual experiences, so if you would rather avoid these kinds of topics, this is not the book for you. Look her up on Youtube, or watch The Sarah Silverman Program on Netflix.  After you get done, you'll probably want to head to the book store to buy The Bedwetter.