More Fake rules for being Irish on St. Patrick's Day

A couple of years ago, I made a post listing a set of rules for being Irish on St. Patrick's Day, but since then I've thought of a few other important rules that you need to keep in mind along with the others. Be sure to study them and follow them closely.

1. Like before, the Irish do not need to concern themselves with these rules. They can read them, but the certainly don't need to follow them.
2. All of the previous rules still apply. See that post already.
3. OK, the first thing you have to do St. Paddy's day is roll out of bed and eat some Lucky Charms. If you want to get it right, you might want to have the bowl ready right next to your bed with some milk there too. (Feel free to say "They're magically delicious" with the an Irish accent. It won't make you any more Irish though.)
4. St. Patrick is credited with driving all of the snakes from Ireland, so what are you doing with that snake? Get away from anything having to do with snakes for the day. Don't even talk to a snake handler. Why take a chance?
5. I talked about Shamrock Shakes before, but let's be honest, they are delicious and must be a part of the holiday for you.
6. OK, it doesn't matter if you don't eat meat, you need to eat Corned Beef and Cabbage. Just do it. It's a part of being Irish. (OK, if you're committed to the whole "nothing with a face" way of life, then at least pretend you ate it. OK, just don't make a big deal about it. Maybe you can get one of your veg friends to make up some Corned Tofu and Cabbage.)

So that's it for now. Maybe I'll come up with some more ideas in the future, but that is where we will leave the issue until that time arrives.

Fake rules for being Irish on St. Patrick's Day

So you want to be Irish this St. Patrick's Day? Well, here are the basic rules for you to follow to meet all of the qualifications:

1. If you are already Irish, stop reading the list. If you aren't Irish, then move on to step 2.
2. Green must become your color of choice for the day. The more green you are wearing, the more Irish you will be. Shirt, pants, underwear, socks and shoes. Bonus Irish points if you have green hair too.
3. Continue with the green trend by eating and drinking green things. That's why corned beef and cabbage is a traditional St. Patty's Day tradition. You can also add Shamrock Shakes, green beer, and all those nasty veggies you usually avoid. Yes, broccoli and Brussels sprouts are just the sort of thing you need.
4. Make sure you are also wearing one of those "Kiss Me I'm Irish" items, pin, button, t-shirt, etc.
5. Get a kiss.
6. Live up the Irish life for up to 8 hours. (disclaimer-all Irishness expires at 8 am or your local time.)

So there you go, your guide to being Irish on this very special day. Make the most of it!