Fake rules for being Irish on St. Patrick's Day

So you want to be Irish this St. Patrick's Day? Well, here are the basic rules for you to follow to meet all of the qualifications:

1. If you are already Irish, stop reading the list. If you aren't Irish, then move on to step 2.
2. Green must become your color of choice for the day. The more green you are wearing, the more Irish you will be. Shirt, pants, underwear, socks and shoes. Bonus Irish points if you have green hair too.
3. Continue with the green trend by eating and drinking green things. That's why corned beef and cabbage is a traditional St. Patty's Day tradition. You can also add Shamrock Shakes, green beer, and all those nasty veggies you usually avoid. Yes, broccoli and Brussels sprouts are just the sort of thing you need.
4. Make sure you are also wearing one of those "Kiss Me I'm Irish" items, pin, button, t-shirt, etc.
5. Get a kiss.
6. Live up the Irish life for up to 8 hours. (disclaimer-all Irishness expires at 8 am or your local time.)

So there you go, your guide to being Irish on this very special day. Make the most of it!